EfM Mentor "Foundations" Training: Scott's Report

Scott's biggest surprise of the weekend was that fifteen hours of mentor training on Zoom was invigorating. We met from living rooms in Virginia, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, North Carolina, and Arizona: Jane, Rick, Marlene, Leah, Cathy, Tom, and our trainer Jenny Beaumont.

Jenny ran us through landmarks of a typical EfM year. We did our spiritual autobiographies, and then reflected on why we do this every year. We did five different kinds of TR, including a mind map -- Jenny led that, and let us use the entire map for our focus. We discussed vocational discernment, including the question, "What are you already doing that could be considered a ministry?" We each led a worship. Instead of a collect, being in a hurry, we each contributed a line to a group prayer on "chat." We discussed the study materials, and discussed answers for students who perceive only violence and corruption in the readings of years One and Three. We discussed recruitment and broke into teams to draft "elevator pitch" speeches.

One striking technique of Jenny's that I should've been using for 40 years is to replace questions with statements. Studies show that teens clam up rather than commit to a single answer for "How was your day?" But they spill when the parents says, "I'd love to hear about your day."

5 things I learned: prayer via chat -- the mind map is the image -- statement instead of question -- "Where is God in this? What do we see about human relationships?" -- engage all senses in the metaphor.

4 things I claim as my own: imagination to "get into" a metaphor... Jenny saw "joyfulness" ... participants cited word choices that illuminated topics ... I've learned to trust silence

3 areas in which I can grow: remember to unmute -- trade off with others during the TR (mentor, students) -- "let the heaviness rest" if we hit a hard saying or story

2 traits that could cause trouble: I can get too invested in the process - I can miss a shift in the group's interest

1 image for the training: My partner in leading a "wide-angle" TR, Leah of Massachusetts, brought a belayer from her cliff-climbing adventures as an object that tells a lot about her. It turned into the perfect metaphor for our reflection, and ultimately a metaphor for the training experience.

Yr. D, Wk.24: Prophets and Practical Piety

Scott opened with a prayer by Dr. Colleen Hanycz, the incoming President of Xavier University in Cincinnati. She begins:

Loving Creator,
We asked for strength, and you gave us difficulties to make us strong.
We asked for wisdom, and you gave us problems to solve....

Our check-in question was, "What surprised you in the past week?" Answers involved adults on roller skates, tears that welled up when yours truly wrote the last student comment of his 40 years career, a couple of surprising close encounters with birds. Susan reported on the second shot of the COVID vaccine.

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent:Christine, Gene.

Our discussion of the readings dwelt on a couple of points. Marilyn's comment about the prophets reminded Mariel of something she read Sedgwick's comments about "drawing a person out of individuality," a phrase that set off her "cult" radar. Scott and Susan were less alarmed. Scott experiences a cessation of individual striving that comes with age, books tell him. Susan drew on philosophy to point out that our notion of "individuality" developed with Locke a few decades after Hooker, and that Locke's premises are questionable.

Nuno wanted to know more about the middle way, focused on practice, wondering how this aspect of the Anglican tradition is viewed by other churches. Discussion followed.

Without Christine and Gene, and with Susan suffering the headache that comes with her immune system's kicking in, we decided to postpone Nuno's TR and Scott's Psalm 136 worship for next week.

Yr. D, Wk.23: A Splash of Cold Water

Marilyn started us off with an eclectic mix of prayers and poetry. We checked in with the "highpoint" of the week. Our answers included taking communion, excitement over the (limited) re-opening of church, visits to our moms, seeing Nuno in a suit on livestreaming, plumbers' repairs, playing handbells, and finding the office has been okay while you were away.

About the week's readings, we spoke of Purgatory, ramifications of the Black Death, and different kinds of "piety". One upshot of the discussion is (from Sedgwick) that faithful habits lead to understanding, more than the other way around. We discussed what Sedgwick means by "Post-Modern". We found a tension between Scripture that tells us in Ezekiel "you're responsible for your own actions" and a strong sense that the community is responsible. Susan pointed out that the ancient Israelites were dealing with relatively small communities where the sins of the fathers were well-known to descendants in the villages.

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent: None.

Theological Reflection (TR) Reading John 8.59 about how Jesus hides from those who would have stoned him, Scott was reminded of a 7th grader who scoffed at Mohammed's epic escape from Mecca to Medina: "Mohammed was a coward. Jesus would never have run away." Scott had realized that any response he made would be harmful in one way or another.

After we found analogs in our own lives, Christine suggested the metaphor: You're emerging from a dark cave, and you're hit by a cold waterfall.

After looking at analogs in Tradition, Culture, and our own beliefs, we had some insights: All of us are quick to judge without having enough information … A bucket of cold water can be good for us… don’t think their truth is the truth… comic trope of the bucket of cold water – this is something we can laugh at (laugh at our own weakness)(like cocky walk on banana peel) … something to learn even from this situation…

Christine bravely volunteered to compose a Collect from this. 

PS - When EfM mentor training turned to discussion of metaphors, I brought up our cave-and-waterfall. The trainer asked us what the cave was like, and we filled in a kind of backstory: dark, dank, we don't want to go back, and we regret having entered the cave in the first place; ahead is light and promise of air and warmth and freedom; BUT there's this cold splash of water which will be a shock to the system, though also potentially refreshing.   Buy in:  I suddenly remembered quitting the university chapel choir, which would be liberating, but I had to face the director's scorn for reneging on my commitment.  Tradition?  That lame man beside the pool for 30 years, "stuck in the cave of his self-pity" until Jesus challenges him: "Do you want to be healed?"

Yr. D, Wk.22: "Living into Wholeness" with Fear and Trembling

For the first 20 minutes, while technical difficulties kept Christine and Marilyn from joining us, we went on with the worship liturgy that Christine had sent us, which was Psalm 78.1-7 arranged as a prayer, each of us assigned our own lines, followed by a prayer.

Our comments about the reading (printed in "Comments" below) were informed by each other's responses. We had some additional discussion of how contentious the ordination of women used to be and how we feel comfortable with it now. Nuno's comment that his own experience as an artist informs his response to dogmatic creationism is one that resonated with Scott. Many of us in this group are artists by vocation or avocation.

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent: None.

Theological Reflection (TR) Mariel brought us lyrics of "Sinner Man," a folk song written in the 1950s with a modern-day recording by Alice Smith that plays for closing credits of Lovecraft Country [PHOTO], a series in the supernatural-thriller genre. The lyric is indeed terrifying, as "Sinner Man" calls out to "the Rock" for salvation, but the Rock says "I cannot save you." The song ends with an anguished call -- for? upon? protection from? -- POWER, POWER, POWER. Identifying the Rock with Jesus, we focused on the line that "the rock cannot save you."

We could all buy into feeling that same way. Moments of crying out in pain and anguish, and feeling unheard … addiction and the layers of sin (you’re in such a hole that you can be helped out only by God with other people) and, from the RRG, what Hughes wrote about the “slackness” between periods of conversion, when you pray and hear nothing back.

From the different sources, we found these analogs:

• Tradition Jesus on the wilderness tempted – when he first went up there, lots of questions in his mind – Parables of the unwise virgins who don’t light their lamps, and the wedding guests thrown out. Christ on the cross: why are you forsaking me? Old Testament prophets – Jeremiah, Isaiah – the day of Lord is going to be doom. The Act of Contrition – My God I am heartily sorry for all my sins… with intention to walk away from sin… I dread the pangs of hell… Last rites - Psalms – Lord is my rock… Rock of Ages cleft for me…
• The feelings and guilt and inadequacy of a parish priest whose letters are examined in a recently read history of the BLACK DEATH – doctrine prescribed complex and necessary rites that he was unable to perform, but experience was telling him, just get the repentance going before you die….
• Culture? Movie GHOST – coming up from under to grab souls.

Asked what positions we bring to this situation, we found tension between the ideas that God cannot save someone who will not be saved and that God and the sinner can still reach each other: Song doesn’t seem like “sinner man” has repented, but seems to have skipped the “I’m sorry” … We’d better be asking God’s forgiveness every day (as in the Daily Office) … Reconciliation in today’s essay – has trouble with the judgement day deadline scenario … The flipside (that a deathbed conversion works) also seems false… Mariel told of The Drunkard’s Mass - which Nuno also has seen, a kind of working class pattern of confession, carousing, confession. Fear itself is the enemy, the hindrance to faith, the distortion in our lives… Jesus warns the disciples to fear those who can destroy the spirit… Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom… Marilyn sees a difference between “fear” and “awe” --- compare to awe with Grand Canyon… Romans 8:15 – “not to fall back into fear but be adopted in sonship -- ‘Abba,’ father -- Marilyn: “When the Bible refers to the fear …. It’s deep respect for authority… leads to love” “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

Working towards a collect, Scott asked for help.

• What does the image of a "rock" mean to us? steady, ageless, strong, cornerstone – foundational, majestic, immovable, sheltering
• Looking at tonight's TR, what do we feel the need to pray for? Don’t leave me behind… help me to do the things I must for salvation … keep my fear fresh and ever-present… let our fear and awe turn to reverence and worship… transform (sublimate) (transfigure) our fear. POWER

Collect at a Time of Fear and TremblingAlmighty God of power, strong cornerstone of our lives: when we sleepers awake too late to the awareness of our sins and cry out to You in shame, we pray for Your love and forgiveness, that our fear may be transfigured to reverence and repentance. Through our Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit that cries in us "Abba, Father." Amen.

Yr. D, Wk.21: Desire Between the Floors

Gene led an eclectic worship service cut-and-pasted from different sources. One passage that Gene had selected for worship expressed a thought that came out in our discussion of the readings: "Our thirst compels us to go beyond complaint to conversation."

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent:Nuno.

Gene takes no responsibility for the on-boarding question, "If the past week were a food, what dish would it be?" We had rotten tomatoes; fine fish with one sharp bone; hamburger surprise; too much hummus. But with the vaccine received or near to being administered, we felt grateful.

A theme in our comments about the readings (below) emerged even more prominently in our discussion: God works with and through our desires, contrary to what we may have thought earlier in our lives. Gene said we bring our desires ("thirst" in the prayer he chose) to "the table" when we look to God for His plan for us. Mariel had picked up on MacIntosh's description of sacraments as "poignant reminders" of our separation from God, and our longing for God. Marilyn identified with the shifting perspectives that she read about in Mariel's post, "small/big, far/closeup." We were reminded of Psalm 37 - "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." We also recalled 1 Peter: "Cast all your cares on the Lord."

Theological Reflections (TR) Susan told a story about a fine evening spoiled when the valet lost her car key. We focused on the anxious hour(s) she spent waiting for the restaurant to get her car back to her. Thinking of similar times in our lives, we settled on the image of being stuck on an elevator, waiting for help to arrive.

The world of an elevator is closed off. It's a convenience, a necessity for some, but its smooth operation can be taken too much for granted. The things that make it work are invisible although you can hear them. We cannot see its motion. If it breaks, you have no way to fix it yourself. Even if you can communicate with rescuers, there’waiting, worrying, and doubt. It gets worse: What if you need the restroom? What are you missing while you're stuck there?

We found several analogs in tradition and popular culture. Disciples waited in the upper room, doors locked, afraid of Roman and Temple authorities; Passover, the night before the Exodus. Disciples may be waiting, but they’ve made a choice…. So have the Hebrews: they’ve cast their lots, and they’re waiting for the results. Among movies and literature, we thought of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, the people in Die Hard trapped in a building (where Marilyn used to work!); Anne Frank in the attic. We thought of the fish in an aquarium in Finding Nemo. In all these cases, the salient characteristic is lack of control, and waiting patiently -- or not -- on others.

We brainstormed for a collect, leaving it to Scott to finish. The end result refers to our earlier discussion of desires, and to what Jesus says to anxious Martha in Luke 10.42:

Collect in Suspense Almighty Father: while disciples waited in the upper room, You were there with them: help us to remember that the only necessary thing is You, and You are with us always, that we may with patience endure those trials we cannot control and with diligence effect the changes that we can. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Yr. D, Wk.20: Reaching Out to Find Our Way

Mariel led worship with a litany of invocations by different attributes of the Spirit thoughtfully fitted to each of us. Her on-boarding question was about mountains or deserts in our lives these days. We answered about the "deserts" lacking communion, personal contact with friends, and joy. Christine spoke of the "frozen tundra" of family relationships separated by COVID restrictions; Gene, our cheerful hiker, quipped, "My mountain is that I can't get to my mountain!"

Concerning the week's readings, we shared what we saw in others' posts (below) that we wanted to hear more about. Responding to postings about Hosea from Nuno and Marilyn, Mariel reported on what Gale Yee wrote about it in a Bible commentary focused through the perspective of women. Nuno asked Gene to elaborate on MacIntosh's downplaying of the common notion that Jesus took the punishment for mankind. Scott found that topic in Christine's posting, too, where the punishment idea figured in the break between Roman and Orthodox Christianity.

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent: None.

Theological Reflection (TR) Christine shared with us a striking photograph from a retirement center that she made through the glass that separates her from her mother. [See photo.]

Asking what characteristics of creation show in this photo, we answered: big, solid, but with a human touch; we see the passage of time; there's a sweetness in how these people are taking care of each other (though they may not remember each other's names); they're fighting against entropy that pulls them down into those big stuffed chairs. The sense grew that the room itself is in some ways distorted; the unseen element of the glass barrier added to that sense.

When we thought of referents to this photo, we thought of the myth of Orpheus who, leading Eurydice out of Hades, couldn't resist looking back. There's a twist on that myth in the movie What Dreams May Come. Matthew 13.15 relates to those who cannot hear or see. We thought of God's leading the Hebrews across the wilderness, God's reaching out for Adam's hand in Michaelangelo's painting, and Peter's grabbing the hand of Jesus on the waves. Seeing the child-like line-up reminded us how "the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these children." We also thought of Jacob's ladder - the action of angels on earth - and Jesus leading Lazarus out of a dark place.

Reviewing the form of the collect with Nuno's collect from last week, we collaborated on the collect below. First, we had to decide what tonight's TR has brought to our attention that we need to pray for. We thought the photo could be an image of our church, and wrote

Collect for the ChurchHoly Spirit, who leads us through dark valleys: We are like the children of Israel in the desert, banded together, unsure of our future, reaching for each other, learning to trust in each other and in Your guidance and clarity; Help us to feel bonded to Your Church that we may travel together on the same path, and head in the direction You would have us to go. Through You, to the Father and the Son, we pray. Amen.

Yr. D, Wk.19: The Parable of the Over-Accessible Father

Worship was the litany for Thanksgiving (p. 832) incorporating our answers to Scott's onboarding question, "What has happened in the past couple of weeks for which you give thanks?" We expressed gratitude for old friends who need our help, who can help us; deepening relationship with adult family; Fr. Daron's teaching; the church community at a time of child's baptism.

[PHOTO: Gene's father.]

Yr. D theme: Living into the Journey with God Class: Marilyn, Nuno, first year; Christine, third year; Mariel, Gene, fourth year; Scott and Susan, co - mentors. Absent: Christine

We discussed the readings, adding some takes on the comments printed after this blogpost. Mariel recommended the Women's Bible Commentary for an alternative view to those expressed in Yee's book. Gene and Mariel had mixed feelings about McIntosh's latest chapters. "He really wants to win the argument...Sometimes he feels the power of an analogy is proof."

Theological Reflection (TR) Gene offered us a vivid dream that we could all identify with, though it was painfully specific to him. Some years after his father's death, Gene dreams that he seeks his father all over town, needing his advice. When the father appears and invites the dreamer to sit with him, a series of townspeople interrupts to thank the father for his service to them. Though the dreamer never gets to ask his questions, he awakes knowing that he has received the answers.

Thinking how frustrated we are when we cannot get an answer ("Your call is very important to us"), we realized that parables also give no direct answers. When you have "ears to hear," though, the answer becomes apparent in a rush.

From our tradition, we thought of the woman jostled by the crowd around Jesus who reaches for the hem of his garment and is healed in the instant; Job, whose questions finally are answered indirectly by an overwhelming sense of God's power; the Prodigal Son's older brother's questions receive the gentle answer, "You've always had me." We also thought of "seek and ye shall find," and the counter-example of the Pharaoh who would not accept what he learned. For Gene, the answer he sought about an attorney's potential for making a difference in the community was apparent in the parade of ordinary people thankful for his father's assistance. From our culture, we saw parallels in our old standbys It's a Wonderful Life, Star Wars (esp. Yoda), and The Wizard of Oz.

Collect

Lord God, Heavenly Father of all, you plant the desire in our hearts to be near to you. Help us to recognize your presence in each person we meet each day, allowing us to encounter you in service and communion with others. Amen