Report from Mentor Formation Training 2022

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At 2pm Thursday through Sunday, I joined a group of wise and kind mentors to work on Theological Reflection ("Deepening TRs") with trainer Steve Isham in Vermont. We met on Zoom from many places, as far west as Des Moines, as far north as New Hampshire, and as far south as me. Over those days, I worked in breakout rooms with all the others: Leslie, Theresa, Tom, Jane, Anna, and Frances. "You're here for growth," Steve said. "You don't have to prove yourselves." That was a relief.

TR & carts [Photo by Scott with Brandy, Sunday]

We followed familiar EfM protocols with participant-led worships, taking time to set up class norms ("covenant"), presenting our spiritual autobiographies on the Year B theme, and "gathering" questions. Steve used those to practice aspects of TRs. So he picked up a line from worship about "opening our eyes" and asked for any eye-opening experience in our week -- and then asked what could be a TR from our responses. Another time he asked what animal we associate with TRs (dogs go wherever their interest takes them, an octopus that latches onto things in many directions, a peacock that unfolds, and Tom, who said TRs can "be a bear").

Steve had us take time to find our own ways to explain why we do TRs to anyone new to the process or skeptical of it. TR is a way to see God at work in our experiences and our world... TRs give us a different way to appreciate the texts and beliefs of our faith... We bond over the common project and have fun... In TRs we create new parables from the materials of our own lives. A skeptic needs to know what's in it for us? and everyone needs to understand that the outcome is never known in advance, and there are no certain answers. (I shared my favorite Picasso quote, "If I know what it's going to look like, I don't make it.") Steve does partial TRs with his group in the weeks before the process is introduced in the curriculum; he just doesn't use the terminology.

Perhaps the best answer emerged on the last day when Steve asked us a gathering question about the "apply" part of a TR: how has the TR process "applied" to our own lives? A TR about those shopping carts that people leave in the parking lot changed one man's habits. Parents worked through a TR at a time of shock and grief to reach a position of calm and strength. All of us agreed that the process has become a part of who we are.

On the last day, we all participated in two TRs. Theresa asked Tom and me to try a "dilemma" TR, and Tom had a story about what to wear to church on a hot day. Everyone benefitted from seeing how this treacherous approach to the process can go off the rails, and we had a lot of laughs. The other group led us in TR on a "provocative word" estrangement that took us to emotional places, and we ended up seeing estrangement as a "desert" in a relationship, taking strength from the many figures in our tradition whose ordeals in deserts eventually end in reconciliation, salvation, promises fulfilled.

I should mention that Frances and I laughed a lot exploring a metaphor: it's like your candle just set fire to the altar during a wedding. We imagined Lucille Ball in that situation, and Frances drew on Dolly Parton's perspective -- accepting her mistakes, embarassed by nothing.

Yr. B, Wk. 2: Our EfM Class's Culture

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Image: A banner representing our class's culture, with images selected by participants. The tree and rainbow represent this year's theme of living faithfully in a multicultural world. So do the joined hands, which also represent mutual support. The image of the sacraments represents both our communion with each other and our grounding in church tradition; the EfM logo represents our grounding in the practices of this program. The Oz image recalls how participants over the years have found resonance with the theme that what we think we need most is something we already have. (Sorry, Pete, that Dave Matthews didn't make the cut.)

Worship and Gathering
Marilyn brought an olio of prayers from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer, from Iona, Reverend Sloane Coffin, some in third person and some personal (like the Psalms!), all different expressions of the need for God. This fit the theme of "living faithfully in our multicultural world."

Marilyn asked us to share any experience we'd had in the past week that was a "hint of heaven." Scott and Susan both rejoiced over the amazing grace of a dog who was lost, but now is found. A dog figured in Marilyn's story of a soup chef who served her "heaven in a bowl." Nuno rejoiced in a turning point for his father. Jessica told of good news for the worshipers in her morning prayer group. Pete told how relieved he was to get the phone call at 3 a.m. that "I'm home safe."

Living Faithfully in a Multicultural World:
1st yr: Jessica; 2nd yr: Susan; 3rd yr, Pete, Nuno, Marilyn, Kathy ; 4th yr, Scott. Mentors: Susan and Scott. Absent: Kathy, preparing for surgery.

Discussion of the Readings
We each came to the class prepared to discuss something particular from the reading in the RRG. We highlighted these ideas:

• Challenges to listening - awareness that our body's response may be a motion of the spirit or a reaction of the intellect.
• The demographic diversity of religions in America since 1965, and how little personal experience we've had with it.
• "A vision that is loved provides energy" for ministry, which is defined here as helping to bridge the "gap" between God's dream for humanity and the current reality.
• "Less a clash of cultures than a marbling" : two perspectives on that quote.
• The fact that EfM does a version of this listening lesson every year attests to its being essential to the program, not just a means to an end.
• Desmond Tutu's expansive view of family and faith: there are no outsiders, only insiders.

Everyone contributed to our list of what we DO, what we DON'T do, and traditions we CHERISH.

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Yr. B, Wk. 1: How Multicultural Can We Get?

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There was a lot of energy in our first meeting! We had encouraging messages before and after the meeting: We're getting the band back together again!... I'm looking forward to tonight! ... Good class tonight! It's so good to see everybody!...

(Interested in joining us? Link to our Visitor's Center.)

Worship and Check-in
Because Zoom forced an update on some of us, we started a bit late. After everyone had introduced themselves by name, occupation, and the story of how EfM interested them, Scott led worship from the Reading and Reflection Guide.

Check-in was the main point of this first evening. We quickly got to know our two newest members via slides and the 3-2-1 questions sent by email: 3 places you visited, 2 blessings you received, 1 blessing you gave. We had slides for the first six; Kathy instead used her camera to show us her new back yard.

Living Faithfully in a Multicultural World:
1st yr: Jessica; 2nd yr: Susan; 3rd yr, Pete, Nuno, Marilyn, Kathy ; 4th yr, Scott. Mentors: Susan and Scott. Absent: None.

Discussion of the Readings
We had little to say about the intro to EfM, which most of us have read many times, except for Nuno's comment that he's very excited by the emphasis on multiculturalism.

Scott pointed out that EfM is a "culture" and the chapter was one way we cultivate it. He wondered what other "cultures" we in the group might represent. We added a dozen cultures to a list and got to know each other a little better in the process. Then we used "chat" to type in phrases from one of our own "cultures" that others wouldn't recognize:

Scott: "The Center Cannot Hold!" English majors (but Jessica knew Yeats anyway)
Nuno: Southern Dad Jokes/Terminology Jawl-P, Jeet, Kinjac, etc.
Kathy: centripetal family
Scott: "not since Carrie..."
Marilyn: The Sepulveda Pass (HINT:we've seen it in lots of movies)
Pete: Differential Equations
Jessica: PHI, HIPAA, and the ACA
Marilyn: A snagged dew claw
Susan: tenure and promotion
Nuno: serigraphy, intaglio, lithography, collagraph
Marilyn: Craft service
Pete: f'c
Marilyn: Collapsing trachea
Pete: Dave speak

Theological Reflection (TR)
Next week, we'll begin a series of spiritual autobiographies. These may lead to our first TR.

For Next Week
Marilyn will lead worship and provide a check-in question. We all read chapter 2. Preparation of our spiritual autobiographies is a personal exercise -- only a small portion of it will be shared with the group. Scott and Susan will go first.

Yr. A, Wk. 36: Visitation and Closure

Worship and Check-in
Scott led Evening Prayer in his living room where we all met in person for the first time since last June. As it was the feast of the Visitation, the reading of the Magnificat doubled as the Gospel reading.

We enjoyed a variety of dishes. Spinach lasagne, peach-and-bell-pepper salad (with Tabasco), green salad with a variety of sides, Brussels sprouts roasted with diced ham and white raisins, and watermelon with balsamic vinaigrette, Feta, and shredded mint leaves. For dessert, we had slices of a buttercream layer cake.

We caught up on Christine's recovery, children's literature, bees, dogs and cats, Marilyn's history with movie stars via her mom. We applauded the presentation of the diploma to Christine. She also received a book collecting blogposts from her four years with us. Then we took turns offering collects from a printed booklet of collects from the year.

All evening, Scott's dog Brandy had been reticent, shocked to see so many people in her home. When she approached Pete and licked his hand, it was time to go.

God bless.

Living Faithfully in Your World:
1st yr: Scott 2nd yr: Marilyn, Pete, Nuno; 3rd yr, Susan; 4th yr, Christine. Mentors: Susan and Scott. Absent: None.

Yr. A, Wk. 35: Liturgy Based on Revelation

(Scott drew praises and prayers from Revelation, to go with the Year 2 readings.)

LEADER: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness ALL: (on mute) the first-born of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. Amen. (1.4)

Confession SCOTT: To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

PETE: Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him,

SUSAN: every one who pierced him,

NUNO: and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him.

SCOTT: He loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood.
(1.5-7)

Praise NUNO: Worthy art thou, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for thou didst create all things
and by thy will they existed and were created.

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain,
to receive power
and wealth and wisdom
and might and honor
and glory and blessing! Amen.

Lesson SCOTT: To the angel of the church of Laodicea, write... I know your works. ...Because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing; not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

Therefore I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, that you may be rich, and white garments to clothe you and to keep the shame of your nakedness from being seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, that you may see.

Those whom I love, I reprove and chasten; so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.(3.15-21)

Prayers (responses in italics) PETE: Father, we pray for the church; for those who serve within his temple, and for members of your church from every people and nation
that they may be made a kingdom and priests to our God.

PETE: We pray for those who sit upon the thrones of power and judgement,
that they may be aware of your presence and just in their ways.

PETE: We pray for those who suffer deprivation, discomfort, or violence from nature or humankind
That they shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore, but find springs of living water.

PETE: We pray for our own needs, our own work, and for those whom we name now, silently or aloud: Christine...Marilyn... are there others? (pause) May God prosper our handiwork, and wipe away every tear from our eyes.

Conclusion SCOTT: The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come." And let him who hears say, "Come." And let him who is thirsty come, let him who desires take the water of life without price. ...He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all the saints. Amen.

Short Class Without Christine and Marilyn, we laid aside our planned TR. Our discussion of Revelation brought out the hopefulness and promise in it, contrasted to the horror-movie aspects we'd absorbed from childhood church and the culture. Scott was delighted by Yee's discussion of Esther and Ruth (and Naomi) as taking over their stories, bringing children. Song of Solomon depicts a relationship of equals -- "Garden of Eden before the Fall?"

Next meeting May 31 will be at Scott's house. He'll have lasagna; side dishes welcome. Details forthcoming.

Yr. A, Wk 34: Jude, Sirach, and "Get Out of the Way"

Worship and Check-in
Pete led worship. He asked us what skill we would want if we could have it instantly? Our various answers were to fly a plane... to bake ... to paint what I see... to fix things... to make music.

Before we got into the readings and the theological reflection, we took a moment to pose a Zoom shot of the class that Christine would appreciate, as the setting involves her skill with framing artwork and her love of Halloween.

Living Faithfully in Your World:
1st yr: Scott 2nd yr: Marilyn, Pete, Nuno; 3rd yr, Susan; 4th yr, Christine. Mentors: Susan and Scott. Absent: Christine.

Discussion of the Readings
Year 2 readers responded to two short letters. Interest lay in the image of "wandering stars" with meanings that overlapped, of angels and unmoored believers. The tradition that Jesus had brothers named Jude and James is alien to the churches of Nuno's and Pete's childhood.

From readings in the Apocrypha, Scott recommended this from Sirac: Scribes shouldn't feel superior to neighbors who farm, hammer, make pottery -- "they keep stable the fabric of the world, and their prayer is in the practice of their trade." From the Wisdom of Solomon – ch. 13 – the beauty of nature is almost enough for a person to know God, yet so many still worship idols.

Theological Reflection
In Scott's story, he had to sit in isolation and cool off while his brother and a friend took care of re-building the set for Hamlet. With buy in, our metaphor was "get out of the way" and let the experts do it. We ended with these prayers for ourselves:

I pray that, in those moments where I find myself in sudden crisis, I am able

• to look for the helpers, and to trust God that they will always be there;
• to ask for help when I need it. I often do need help...but living alone makes help not that readily available. I will try to reach out more, and fret less;
• to listen more carefully, accept help more readily;
• to be open-hearted and accepting of the help, and to be more generous in my offering of help to others.

For Next Week
Scott will bring worship; Susan will bring a TR.

Yr. A, Wk. 33: Calling Out All People in Uniform

Worship and Check-in
Marilyn presented us with prayers in rhyme by poet Helen Steiner Rice. She asked us for anything we'd seen in the past week that was new or inspiring. We offered: evening trees in a cathedral-like arch, the rush of a family emergency and the way it ended well, the estimated bill for thousands that the company paid fully, the sight of a tall teenaged brother bending over to kiss the top of his little brother's head while they stood in line for communion, and the maintenance man at the hospital who laid aside his mop to escort an elderly couple where they needed to go.

We discussed that last one, and Scott observed that the Greek word ecclesia, "a gathering," is formed from a prefix and verb that suggest being "called out," as in "called out to help." Theologian Richard Rolheiser used the Good Samaritan to show the way that all members of the church are "called out" to serve as Jesus in the world. Pete dropped everything when he was called out for a family emergency, as that man at the hospital dropped everything to answer a quiet call for help. This theme would re-emerge later in the evening.

Living Faithfully in Your World:
1st yr: Scott 2nd yr: Marilyn, Pete, Nuno; 3rd yr, Susan; 4th yr, Christine. Mentors: Susan and Scott. Absent: Susan could see us and hear us but could not be seen or heard. The miracle of Zoom.

Discussion of the Readings
Part of our discussion also had to do with being called out, as the Maccabee rebels in the 1st year texts stepped out in front to rebel against the Greek tyrants. Scott had been reminded of the ranch family who have been in open rebellion against the Bureau of Land Management for years, now. Pete observed that anyone who's "called out" to respond in such dangerous circumstances can be said to be a bit crazy.

Marilyn has had hard time about those who deny prayer for particular sinners in the letters of John. Marilyn likes the testimony section… spirit of water and blood… Trinity of three elements, and so did Pete. He was interested in the history of the letters and the evidence this way and that. Nuno liked the idea that the three letters may have originally been sent together as a pack of communications to different audiences and individuals. Scott picked up on the authorship idea in relation to the book of Daniel, supposedly written in the time of the Babylonian exile, but evidently written centuries later -- when, under the domination of the Greeks, the Jews needed such stories to boost morale. Scott's own morale was boosted, reading those stories.

Christine was moved by stories in My Neighbor's Faith. One outstanding example was a story of fathers from two opposing faiths who bonded through annual meetings for parents of severely disabled children. Another story concerned a father's suicide and the son's understanding that his religious community condemned the man. In adulthood, he found ideas in Hinduism that helped him to deal with his deepseated need. We had some views of our own about that story.

Theological Reflection
Christine told us of her red "power shirt," which she wore out over many years of putting it on to meet challenges. We could all identify, with stories of clothing, stuffed animals, a certain cocky walk, and a pillow case.

When we asked what it's like to have such an object in our lives, we agreed it's like a uniform – all encompassing but also limiting, you don’t have a choice in it – also restricts – you don’t have to think about it! It’s freeing.

From our culture, we thought of "red shirts" in Star Trek but also in sports; police, medics, soldiers; dress codes -- "Dress well to work well!" Christine said --and the codes of conduct that go with wearing a company's brand.

In our tradition, we thought of these: being called to wear the priestly uniform… Ornate vestments v. simple robe and belt: juxtaposition is interesting… Priestly garb in OT… “Wear a simple tunic, simple shoes…) (Jesus had a dress code!) … Soldiers (like the Maccabees)… Scott also brought up Paul's image of the "armor" of faith and the hymn "St. Patrick's Breastplate." We thought again of the faithful being "called out" into service in the ecclesia.

Our insights tended to these thoughts: Costume is a pretend identity; uniform is a DEEPER identity. Uniform is a role bestowed by authority – it says you have the training, knowledge, ability (and backing of the authority) – unity in the uniform. "Hopefully our faith is a uniform, not a costume."

To apply our reflection, this week we're going to submit the image that comes to mind when we imagine what the "uniform" of faith looks like. Pete has hinted that he'll be showing us actual military uniforms; we hope Christine will show us her famous red shirt.

• Scott: Detail from Mary Cassatt's painting of a mother and child. "The uniform we were born with seems to be a good image for faith and it's corollary vulnerability."
• Christine: "My concept photo is a collage of my photos over time illustrating 'the Light' of faith as a sort of uniform. It surrounds us and reminds us of the light of Christ. These depict light in natural and 'man made' forms…"
• Nuno: "Morning prayer is to me the ritual of donning the armor of God- uniting our hearts and minds in common purpose in daily life."
• Pete: "One page [of photos] has more of a military bent to it, but the other page concerns the marriage uniform & covenant."
• Marilyn: "The Cross is what I think of when considering the 'Uniform of Christianity.' It is known all over the world as a symbol of Love, Peace, and Connection. In its truest sense it brings together the human and the divine into a family. From all directions, from North to South, from East to West; it stretches out its arms, like Jesus on the Cross, reaching out to, and calling all people to remember the center…the Christ…where Christians meet the One Love…calling us to a Christ-centered life…reminding us to live like Christ wherever we may go and whatever we may do. I believe the united form of the Christian faith, its uniform, is the Cross…a sign of our union under God…a true sign of love - the form from Christ's suffering and the promise of eternal life for those who choose to live by his example - and truth - after all, it is a 'T,' what could be more fitting for a uniform than that? (Pardon the pun!) "

For Next Week
Pete will lead worship. Scott will bring a source for theological reflection.