Pray Like Wolves

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When we do a Theological Reflection (TR), we're doing what any good preacher would do when preparing a sermon. Whatever the starting point, we're going to be relating scripture to experience, to our culture, and to the teachings we've grown up with. As we put these all in dialogue with each other, we're looking for insights and practices.

When Jessica shared an experience with us(see blogpost), I thought it would be easy to illustrate how a TR is like a good sermon. Then I struggled to find a form for my "sermon." I hope I found the right order and mix.

Right now, in time zones around the world, there are Episcopalians with prayer books open to morning prayer, or services for noonday and evening. They're in church, or they may be in small groups, or they may be at home alone, perhaps with a dog at their feet.

Some Christian traditions don't value prayers from a book. They believe prayer should be spontaneous.

But I'm comforted, even awed, by the thought that fellow Episcopalians in all their circumstances, pray the same words, silently or aloud. At communion, I sometimes think how my kneeling, my holding up of my hands, and my sipping the wine, join me to churches across the country, across the sea, and even across centuries.

Can prayer be spontaneous and come from within? We know that it can. Can such prayers meander and become a kind of personal performance? We know that it can. Our church give us carefully prepared prayers with room for spontaneity.

For me, our ritual prayers call to mind, not a flock of sheep and a shepherd (root meanings of congregation and episcopal), but wolves.

In the Bible, wolves are vicious and fearsome, except for that wolf in Isaiah that lies down with the lamb. Jesus warns his disciples that they go into the world as sheep among wolves, and he says to beware false prophets who are "wolves in sheep's clothing."

Our culture has a different outlook on wolves. Because we hunted wolves almost to extinction, they have official protection. Except where they prey on domesticated animals, wolves have our sympathy, too. They've become symbols of strength, self-reliance, and pack solidarity. We've made wolves into team mascots and namesakes for super-heroes.

Wolves' baying at night may sound mournful to us, but no study has conclusive answers to why they do it. The wolves may be expressing belonging or psyching themselves up for the hunt. Maybe they're expressing hunger. Whatever they express, they're like my little terrier mix when she barks with the neighbor's Pomeranian at twilight, having a great time.

Another remarkable feature is that wolves match each other's pitch and rhythm, whether they're with the pack or far away, alone. Regardless, they're on the same page.

The nightly ritual of the wolves came to mind during a theological reflection in my Education for Ministry seminar (EfM). A beloved member of a close-knit summer camp cohort had committed suicide during the past year. The young woman relating the story told us that the old friends gathered in silence, finding no words for their feelings. It just felt right, she said, to hike to the camp's waterfall, as they had done many times before. Arriving at the place, they still said nothing. Then, spontaneously, they re-enacted a ritual familiar to Episcopalians from Holy Week: They washed each other's feet.

Like the wolves, they were each in their own place, inside their own thoughts and feelings, and yet together in this ritual.

The young woman, looking back, says there was mournfulness in this, and loss, but also a shared knowledge that they were serving each other in a way that goes back 2000 years. This shared action, though wordless, was instructive, and transformative.

Church should be more than a place to learn lessons, a place to meet like-minded people, or even a place to ensure our own salvation. Whatever the wolves are doing, raising their voices as one from their distant places, we also are doing as we kneel, hold hands up in supplication, confess together, and pray together on the same page.

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Yr. D, Wk. 33: Daniel, John, and Protestant Prophets

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Worship and Gathering
Jessica brought prayers selected from the Evening Prayer service. Her gathering question was a different sort than we're used to, a speculation: If the apostle Paul were alive today, would he use social media?" We had a range of answers showing different sides to his personality. We do know him, almost as a friend or colleague.

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 4 Integrating Belief, Behavior, and Doctrine: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Lanie, Daniel, Donfred.

Discussion of the Readings
Joyce was surprised to find the idea that "God is Love" only in the letters attributed to John; we'd thought it permeated the Bible. We do read of God's steadfast love or lovingkindness in Psalms and other places, but John is unique. We had a follow up discussion, "What does that mean?"

Jessica picked up on John's warning against false prophets, as her chapter covered many men in America who set themselves up as prophets and created offshoots of protestant denominations, including the 7th Day Adventists. She also told us how slavery was a dividing line in Protestantism as in politics.

Scott spoke for Y1 about the split nature of the book of Daniel: half consists of stories set centuries before they were written about young men living in the Babylonian exile. The other half is an early example of the genre called apocrypha. Amusing that the number of days remaining to earth keeps being revised throughout those chapters, as each deadline passed. This is also what happened to Seventh Day Adventists when Joseph Miller's original date for the Second Coming came and went without incident.

Theological Reflection
We had too few people for a TR to be a true group effort.

For Monday:
Skip to the last readings of the year. Y1 read Collins, chapter 29. Y2 read Revelation (portions) and Powell's chapter on Revelation. Y3, skip to "Culture Wars." Susan will lead worship, and Jessica will inspire a TR!

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Yr. D, Wk. 32: "Only a mile and a half more!"

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Worship and Gathering
For worship this time, we used chat to answer four questions about our praises and concerns. Here are the results:

What are our praises and thanksgivings?
Sister’s graduation, upcoming weddings to attend... I give praise and thanksgiving for this wonderful baby growing inside me. I also give thanks for my amazing husband who is currently painting the nursery... The red cardinals, the wrens, the goldfinches and woodpeckers taking turns at my feeder... family, friends, animals-- Nora and Brandy... I praise for my Son who will be graduating next week in high school. I give the glory to God. I praise for the gift of life and the family He provide to me .... My praises and thanksgivings: that I get to live my life with the Lord, healing from gallbladder surgery, probate is closed, and that I have my daughter and family, my church family... Thankful for my Montana children, BFF, Heather; thankful PET scan is over; thankful for friends who care.

What are our prayers for the church - worldwide, and local?
Continued success in Mo Mariclair’s transition into being our new rector... [seconded]... I pray for our local churches that we may be the lights of Christ in our communities who offer a safe haven for those who are seeking a deeper understanding of faith and relationship with God. I pray for the church world wide that we recognize each other as Christians and work to heal brokenness and divisiveness in the world... Thankful for our new priest; for our music ministry; for new Pope... Continuation of Pope Leo's modesty and open-heartedness. [Joyce added: I usually use the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer for the churches listed in the Forward Day by day at the end of the lesson. we pray every Tuesday and Thursday during morning prayer for St. Teresa's.]

What are our prayers for those in authority in the nations and in our local community?
Wisdom, discretion and civility... attention to justice... I pray that the leaders work for justice, freedom, and peace; that they ask for God's guidance and wisdom... Guide us with wisdom and charity to help the homeless to find what they need... Praise God for the great things He has done for us; may He guide us and to paths of righteousness.

What do we pray for our own needs and for those whose lives are closely linked with ours? A joyful end to the school year and safe travels over the next month (3 out of town weddings)... for my sister and brother-in-law... that we all continue to grow in faith, especially when doubt seems to overwhelm us. I pray for all those about to go on summer vacations and that they have restful and relaxing times... My niece's wedding this weekend, a life of love and commitment; continued good health for me and my close friends and family... I pray for wisdom and calm as I manage a transition for Mom from the kind of care she has had for many years to a different kind of nursing home... I pray for God to continue give courage and strength to face all the challenges that will come in font of them... I praise the Lord for everyone that He has allowed me to have a connection with because I am so very grateful. I pray for His will in their lives, peace, joy, hope, and the strength to trust Him with everything and in everything!! He will never leave or forsake us. Praise the Lord!! and right now just about everyday I'm thanking Him for Jessica's special blessing!!

After the prayer, we shared our experiences from Mother's Day. Donfred's mother never let anyone do anything for her, so the holiday was one time they could give back. Joyce loved the quiet. Jessica rejoiced in all the "aunties" at her church who have shared her good news. "It was a wonderful day."

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 4 Integrating Belief, Behavior, and Doctrine: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: None.

Discussion of the Readings
Jessica started us off by tying the week's ascension of Leo XIV to his predecessor Leo XIII. As one decried the excesses and inhumanity in the spread of the industrial revolution, the other is cautioning the world about the A.I. revolution.

Daniel responded to a question in the RRG by relating the stories of Ruth and Esther to the saying, "God will provide." All years jumped on these stories. Joyce takes Ruth for a model of the right way to treat a mother-in-law, a contrast to Joyce's own mother and grandmother. Donfred related the courage of Esther in her confrontation with the king to the courage demanded of Timothy in the New Testament. Lanie had always heard Ruth's saying "Your people will be my people" as a kind of marriage vow, but she understands it more fully now.

We paused to reflect on the massacre at the end of Esther. Daniel sees that horrible things happen, and that the authors of some scriptures such as this, and apocalyptic literature, and many psalms, are endorsing actions that we today would be ashamed of. (Scott called these "revenge fantasies," written to encourage oppressed people in the times of exile and the dominations by Greeks and Romans. From personal experience of imagining revenge during his commute, Scott attests that a revenge fantasy is very effective in boosting one's heart rate and adrenaline; terrible for calm reasoning, and dangerous for driving!)

Some of us were uneasy about Ruth's following Naomi's urging to "lie at the feet of Boaz," a euphemism for offering herself to him. He "covers her" with his cloak. In a time when powerful men had children with many wives and their maids, this action was not a big deal.

Scott wonders: When the Hebrew scriptures attack sexual immorality, isn't that because children out of wedlock muddy a man's "legitimate" lineage? That's why we call it adultery: sex outside of marriage adulterates the pure bloodline.

Theological Reflection
Daniel told us the story of a Boy Scout hike gone wrong. His younger brother misguided the troop of older boys to a "shortcut" that added miles to their journey. "It's only a mile and a half more," he kept saying.

Photo: KERA news

We imagined what the boy must've been thinking: I may be lost...I've screwed up... I can't let them know... There's no way to go back and fix this; we have to keep going. His feelings: I have to prove myself to the older guys...I think I can, I think I can... Lonely... scared, confidence dwindling... mustn't show that I'm scared. [Scott wondered later: What if we'd focused on the older brother's thoughts and feelings? The TR might reveal a whole new set of ideas!]

Theological perspective questions opened up the world of the story to us in new ways. It's a Creation with map, blazes on the trail, friends, and all the stuff you need to thrive. So the Sin is thinking you can short cut the path that has been blazed for you. You wake up to Judgement when you have to admit you've gone five miles beyond the "mile and a half" you promised. What does Redemption look like? "Guys, I'm sorry. Can we work together to figure this out?" [Now Scott wonders, couldn't any Scout have said, "Look, we all agreed to take a shortcut that didn't work, it's no one person's fault, and now we've got to find our way back."]

We found scriptures galore about this situation. Moses is feeling like the young Scout when the people are grumbling. Then he strikes the rock, taking a "short cut" to water. Aaron takes a "short cut" to salvation by fashioning a crowd-pleasing golden idol. Abraham doesn't have an heir, so he turns to his wife's maid Hagar to produce one. Esther is feeling a lot of the insecurities that the boy feels. Peter took the shortcut ("I don't know him at all") but went on to a long faithful world-shaping ministry.

When we put the tradition in dialogue with the culture, something else emerged. Of course, it's in The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy had to experience her long circuitous journey to understand that "home" is more than a place. "No risk, no reward" -- the young Scout is a kind of hero.

Our theme for the year is about "the journey." I wonder what this TR means when we think of our spiritual journeys?

We were getting sleepy, but not before we put together a prayer to collect our thoughts and feelings:

Collect for Misguided WanderersO Good Shepherd who led Israel through the wilderness like a flock: when we like sheep have gone astray, be patient and persistent in calling us back to Your intended destination; and help us to feel empathy with others who are lost beside us and open our hearts to what we learn on our wanderings. Through Jesus's name we pray. Amen.

For Monday:
We do the readings assigned in the RRG for week 33 - the Book of Daniel in the Bible and in Collins, and at least a sampling of Maccabees; the letters of John and essay on them in Powell; "To Make the World Protestant." We won't have a TR this week -- we'll have a couple of absences. Jessica will do the worship, and she has volunteered to do the TR for week 34, the last one! We agreed to meet at St. James for worship followed by dinner on TUESDAY June 3.

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Yr. D, Wk. 31: Wisdom

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Special Announcement
Before we got started, Jessica introduced to us to a new, very small, participant in our group. She held up a sonogram of him, obviously much handled. Due date is November 13, one day after Lanie's birthday.

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 4 Integrating Belief, Behavior, and Doctrine: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Daniel, Donfred, Joyce.

We discussed some of the changes to the curriculum for next year. For one thing, Year 3 will not be reading the heavy tome that Jessica has been reading. Here's a link to a story about the changes from the Episcopal News Service

Discussion of the Readings
We put off worship for later, hoping that Daniel, Donfred, and Joyce would show up during our discussion. Scott observed that all three of our years were reading about wisdom or its synonym, "enlightenment." Scott read thoughts on the Y1 readings that Daniel had emailed: "wisdom is a moving target," and those who think they have it often don't. Daniel enjoy a lot of Proverbs, especially the chapter about Wisdom personified as a female.

Susan opened the discussion of "faith v. works," explaining why Powell believes that James was responding to a mis-reading of Paul. James and Paul use the words "Faith" and "works" to mean different things.

Jessica was struck by the fact that music had not been an important part of worship before the Reformation, and worshipers demanded it in the Enlightenment: who knew?

Worship and Gathering
Lanie's worship took off from the readings, with a moving recital from Ecclesiastes, "There is a time..." She had carefully chosen prayers with the theme of time.

The gathering question was a toughie: if you had to lose three senses, which two would you choose to keep? Our answers were clues to what we prize. "Hearing and sight are how I consume the world," Jessica said. Susan tended to agree, but she would really miss taste. Lanie must have sunsets and music! Scott alone dissented: he'd be okay with sound and touch -- what he needs to interact with his friends and his dog.

Theological Reflection

Our missing friends had not shown up after the break, so we put off the TR for next week.

For Monday:
Scott is up on the Wheel of Worship. We're doing the readings for week 32 as listed in the RRG.

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Yr. D, Wk. 30: Vocation and the All-Night Store

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At 4am Tuesday, I was thinking about us and our happy memories of pre-dawn car trips to all-night establishments like convenience stores, Waffle House, and Krispy Kreme. Our TR took off from Christian Wiman's popular poem "I Don't Want to be a Spice Store." He wanted to be like a convenience store, always open, offering the necessities, receptive.

We all shared memories of the sounds, smells, and feelings of stepping into and out of such establishments. All that fluorescent light, all that activity, and the contrast when we stepped outside, with stars and the moon, sounds of birds and insects, and all the things we DON'T hear at that hour -- like leaf-blowers and traffic. Early though it may be, Daniel said, there's a special energy in gathering at such a place at such a time.

Photo of the original Waffle House, opened in Avondale, GA 1955. It's now a museum. Scott passes it during his usual Saturday bike ride.

We had imagined CREATION: the world of the 4am store is bright, maybe humming, and comforting. SIN was the intrusion of noisy teenagers, but we saw how it's also their perception of dour old people disapproving of them. When Lanie said REDEMPTION might be buying breakfast for a teenager, Scott remembered doing exactly that for a high school senior who had been a difficult 8th grader. The young man was alone at a Waffle House following a midnight mass -- his family had broken up, and only he had attended. The young man hadn't noticed that Waffle House (back then) did not accept credit cards.

During our TR discussion, the most surprising thing to me was the association of this shared early-morning experience with Jesus calling in the pre-dawn darkness to his friends, "Come eat breakfast." Every Eucharist is this.

Update: Daniel and I participated in an evening prayer service at which we recited the Third Song of Isaiah: "[Jerusalem's] doors will always be open, day or night they will never be shut... nations will stream to your light... you will not need the sun by day or the moon by night..."

We thought about maybe taking an EfM road trip to a Waffle House in South Carolina some morning soon, around 2am

Worship and Gathering
Daniel had collected prayers and blessings relating to the theme of this last unit, vocation. He said later that he wanted to emphasize the idea that vocation can be comprised of personal gifts.

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 5 Vocation: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Jessica, Donfred.

First, we looked back on Charleston's vision quest book. Daniel had been skeptical but ended up appreciating the different perspective. He saw how Charleston had needed to integrate his identity as Native American with his identity as Christian. Daniel, for himself, has not felt that need. Before reading Charleston, with his emphasis on the Messiah in community, Lanie had not appreciated how alone Jesus is at the end. The emotion hit her hard when she was reading the part of Jesus at the service Good Friday.

About vocation, we explored Daniel's idea about vocation as gifts or talents, like a talent for recognizing what someone else needs. These gifts stand apart from the training and proper roles that our church emphasizes. Susan pointed out that the person Daniel had cited as his example also has a long background in the church with a lot of training: "there's a structure" to the vocation, she said, and Daniel understood.

Joyce identified with the author's phrase "a vocation to love," and said that she prefers to stay in the background. Lanie, too: "I'm not Diana Ross, I'm a Supreme."

Scott appreciated the paragraph about Job's friends. They gave Job packaged answers at a time when their vocation was simply to listen and join him in questioning his condition. That's a wise approach to remember in similar situations.

Scott and Joyce both appreciated the idea that "beauty" is itself a "call" (two words related in Greek), and Simone Weil's "four loves" that draw us: nature, art, sacrament, and friendship.

For Monday:
We're doing the readings for week 31. Scott recommended that we all look carefully at the RRG's assignments, or we may read more than we have to and get bogged down. Susan reminded me to assign Worship and a TR, but I didn't listen. So I'll be contacting a couple of you to arrange for those.

LOOKING AHEAD TO NEXT YEAR: EfM New Products gives us a peek at the books and VIDEOS we'll have, all different except for Powell in 2nd year. Also, we learn that the four-year program is now "EfM Classic," with new options for one-year and six-week programs. More detail, better explanation at Episcopal News Service

Also, we have a new rector at St. James who wrote for Forward Day by Day back in 2020. Back then, I responded to her insights with particular enthusiasm. Joyce and Donfred, you'll especially appreciate what she says about James, since you're reading James this week. In our TR this week, we were all thinking of food, and so does she, often. Here's a link to the article: Comfort Food in Forward DxD Nov. 20 - Jan. 21.

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Monday of Holy Week

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Dear friends,

Holy Week came late in my first year at an Episcopal Church. Until I had experienced a service for each night of Jesus's last week of earthly life, I didn't "get" the power of our prayer book's seasons and cycles of readings. The liturgy makes us participants in the story, not hearers only.

To give us all the time to attend Holy Week services tonight, we're taking this evening off. I hope that you can join in Holy Week services tonight and all week.

When we meet on Monday April 21st, please bring your VISION QUEST book with you, along with responses and questions. We'd like to hear from those who missed the discussions, and at least a couple of us feel we have more to say about Charleston's approach to Scripture.

-Blessings, Scott

PS - Have you been aware of what the Forward Movement offers? Go to ForwardMovement.org to have the daily scriptures read aloud to you (I listen while I'm walking Brandy), to find daily meditations on the scriptures, and, during Lent, to read up about the saints and vote for the ones you like in friendly "Lent Madness" competition. (In the screenshot below, I believe that's St. Philip between MJ and Kobe)

Yr. D, Wk. 29: Native Messiah Dies for Our Blessing

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Worship and Gathering
We dove into discussion of Charleston's book even before we'd all arrived. Lanie brought a Choctaw necklace and Seminole doll for show and tell, prized objects. Susan's worship was a prayer by Charleston, and her closing was Charleston's admission that he frequently laughs when he prays. (see the end of this posting)

Susan asked what made us laugh this past week? Well, we had squishy mammogram anecdote, two dogs clowning around, and a specialty shop in NYC that was floor-to-ceiling sardines (canned, of course).

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 4 Integrating Belief, Behavior, and Doctrine: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Daniel, Donfred.

Discussion of the Readings
This week, we found in Charleston much more that we could buy into. Jessica liked thinking of John the Baptist as a "clown," sort of the bad cop to Jesus's good cop. Joyce agreed, and she told us of a TV series that comported well with Charleston's descriptions, including a clown figure who, as Charleston said, goes opposite to what's expected. (On the TV show, he rides a horse backwards.)

Lanie raised up the story of the Hopi Indians and how they stood to their principles no matter what. Their discovery of the interconnectedness of all things, and their conviction that they themselves were responsible for preserving that interconnectedness, were worth suffering and dying for. Scott and Susan each shared about rituals of the Aztecs and the Mayans, who believed that one misstep in the ritual dance could jeopardize the balance of the world.

Jessica and Scott both felt that the book came together for them in the part that Charleston called "The Garden" (i.e., Gethsemane) where "The Native Messiah," abandoned by his sleepy apostles, accepts that it's "a good day to die." This relates to those Hopis, and to the "Sun Dance." (Joyce saw that, too, on that TV series. She had to look away.) Scott appreciated Charleston's spin on one of the ways that Christians have explained the Cross -- as God's punishment of Jesus for the sins of Adam and Eve's descendants (a view long challenged by theologians -- see Charleston, p. 137). For Charleston, the "Native Messiah" died, not for a punishment, but for a blessing. Jesus at Gethsemane lamented the violence we did (and do), yet accepted death and came back to us, still loving: that's "good medicine" for the world.

We acknowledged the injustices inflicted upon Native Nations. We had not realized how the carvings on Mt. Rushmore insult tribes for whom the Black Hills are sacred. Scott recalled a document that he used to teach the Trail of Tears to middle school students. In an official report, an army officer tries to believe that he is doing a good thing as he describes the suffering of the people he forcibly marched hundreds of miles away from their homes. He justifies the action by saying "everyone knows" how hateful and violent the natives are, but then he admits that he saw little hatred from them. All the violence and hatred he observes is from the whites who attack the line.

How do we relate what we see in Charleston's descriptions of Native American faith to our own? Joyce: Their faith is what kept them going, same as us. Lanie: Those so-called Christians who attacked the Native American communities didn't have a grasp of what Jesus went through. Susan: Charleston's reinterpretation of Christianity through Native American eyes makes the message of Christianity universal in a way that Europeans' traditional expressions do not.

Another theme that we discussed was the importance of community to the Native American nations. The vision quest idea is about individuality within the context of community, very different from "individualism" in the tradition of Andrew Jackson.

No TR this week -- with Jessica leaving early to rest up for a demanding early morning event, we didn't have a quorum. But we did have this from Steven Charleston, thanks to Susan:

Sometimes I laugh when I pray. I hope you do too.

So often prayer is such a serious business
With so many deep needs and heartfelt petitions
But there are those moments, those rare and happy times
When the thanksgivings start to flow
Like a mountain stream rushing over rocks
Life running through sunlight.

And I cannot help but smile
Smile at the beauty of it all, smile at grace so abundant.
May the Spirit give you reason to laugh today.
May your prayers turn to delight.
May your thanks be said with a smile.
May your life run through sunlight
Prayer and laughter the same.

Joyce read this with evident delight!

We get April 14 off for Holy Monday services. Stay tuned: we may also take off April 21, as Scott is involved with another movie, lah-di-dah.

When we do return, we will be discussing RRG p. 166ff., "Discerning Vocation." One of its intriguing ideas is that "beauty" is a "call" as much as the voice of angels.

Daniel is up next on the "wheel of worship." Scott will save his TR for then.

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