Yr. D, Wk. 11: Teach us to number our days

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Worship and Gathering
Some of us offered images of "our Father" that demonstrated different aspects of what "father" means. A father in one photo was "not demonstrative," hands away from the little girl on his lap, but he exuded power and stern masculinity, wearing a cap, sitting in his jeep in his orange grove. Another father with wife and two dogs demonstrated the role of "provider." Another showed a tender side of "fatherhood," the big man holding the little baby, both of them leaning into each other, eyes closed. Women in the group all imagined the smell of the scene -- from sweet to -- etc. When we prayed "Our Father, who art in heaven," these images were in our minds.

For a gathering question, Scott asked, "What do you do when you can't sleep?" Watch the Hallmark channel / camping shows on YouTube (but never reach the end)... take melatonin... turn over and try to turn off my brain... get up and do something routine (cleaning, reading, crossword puzzle...) in faint light.

Joyce combined both elements when she sent us this Shutter Stock image of fatherhood at 3am Tuesday.

See other images in slide show.

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 2 Theological Reflection: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Daniel (at his first Vestry meeting!).

Discussion of the Readings
Susan was "A" for "Amused": Mark – tradition that he’s an acolyte of Peter – but gospel that makes Peter look goofiest one of all. Joyce – Mark so hard on the disciples, only good thing they did was to leave their father to follow Jesus – But the Intro suggests this was written for people facing Nero and torture who gave in or kept heads down. Mark written to encourage them – comforting that the resurrected Jesus first goes to look for those who abandoned him -- Joyce wonders sometimes about herself… Mark skips a lot of the details we get in other books. Mark gives definitions of Jewish things his readers might not know. Joyce was able to read the whole thing in one sitting. Donfred found the book to be both a comfort and a challenge to the failures of the believers, and was struck by the suffering of the Christians. He was also amazed that a book from such a male-dominated society should give so much importance to the three ladies who go into the tomb. Susan says it was probably written post 70AD after destruction of the temple. She observed that Mark seems to have ended at the point where the apostles run away, "afraid." Joyce said, "Mark gives us the opportunity to finish the story ourselves." We are in the story!

Lanie, for Y1, observed that women are so unimportant and are treated unfairly in Deuteronomy. They had no say in their lives, even after the husband died. Comparing Deuteronomy to Exodus (as both cover the same ground): Dt is softer, "let the slaves and livestock rest...," reminds them they too were slaves. Lanie wonders, did Moses change his mind about the law? A conversation followed during the break and continued into the second half. Susan and Lanie worked through the idea that scholarship provides the context that enhances what we read (e.g., Joyce's response to Mark's context in the time of Nero).

Jessica struggled to relate all this to a chapter about the rise of Islam. Jessica was "A" for "amazed" that Pontius Pilate is revered in the Ethiopian church, based on a legend that he converted after the Crucifixion. In Ethiopia, secluded from other churches, Pontius Pilate rose to iconic status. A brief discussion of Jesus Christ Superstar ensued, with Scott saying he always identified with overeducated and indecisive Pontius.

Theological Reflection
The challenge this week was to find a focus from what we had discussed before the break. Lanie's questions about the time line of the Old Testament, as things that happened early may have been written down late, dominated our conversation. We settled on a line from Psalm 90, "Teach us to number our days."

Exploring the phrase, Donfred identified the sin as wasting the time we're given. When Scott asked about judgement, how you know something's wrong, Donfred recalled driving in a direction and suddenly realizing he was lost. We all could buy in to that scenario.

Connecting to the culture source, Scott brought up Macbeth, assassin - who had always pictured success as having children, grandchildren, and "troops of friends," but he realizes in old age, as most powerful man in Scotland, that he has none of these. The Wizard of Oz came up, of course, where the characters are literally lost, only to realize: "there's no place like home," AND the way home was there with them all the time. Other sources included the action source (experience): Lanie's experience at the Sistine Chapel... "You're home when you think you're home"...From Scripture, Wise Men following the star...

Susan pointed out that the phrase "Teach us to number our days" may not be about limiting our life spans, but about putting our days in order, planning them out.

Looking for Insights to arise from our reflection, we said:

• "There will be many who come in my name; do not let them lead you astray"
• Don't believe all you see on the internet
• "Gain a heart" of wisdom v. "apply your hearts to wisdom" (translations make a difference)
• Don't waste your time
• What appears to be wasted time can be fruitful, and times of busy-ness can be a waste (example: Scott's "wasted" four weeks drafting a poem -- then the poem popped out! See Expiration Date)

Our application this week was a list:

What can you do over the next week to respond to v. 12 of psalm 90?
• Think about what is and is not wasted time
• Help me to seek and live according to Your will.
• I will be more intentional about my devoted time to reading scripture
• Don't worry so much about resolutions, just be in the day.
• Try to get some sleep, but use any lost sleep time in the night doing something meaningful
• God help me to use your time wisely.

For Monday:
Do the readings assigned for week 12. Scott will again provide worship, because the person slated to do worhips next week was Jessica, but she stepped up to bring a source for next week's TR. She hopes to bring us something from the Action or "experience" source.

Year One, special note: You're reading the first essay in Yee's book. I invite you to read a note of mine that responded to some questions our participants have had over the years about the need for a "feminist" theology: Hear Yee, Hear Yee.

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Yr. D, Wk. 10: Committees and Lazarus

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Discussion of the Readings
We saved worship for later, when we might have Donfred and Susan with us.

Two questions of all years on p.74 of the RRG prompted our conversation. "How does your understanding of the nature of God intersect with the understanding you encounter in your study? What part did your personal experience or learning play in forming your understanding of God?" (Scott pointed out that EfM advises us, when a text disagrees with our sense of things, to examine the roots of our own reactions without rejecting the text.)

At first, Jessica found no personal connection to the chapter about the Council of Chalcedon (cal - SEE - don), but she did like the fact that a tale of Buddha, transformed into one about Balaam and Jehosephat by an admiring monk, helped to spread Christianity in Asia and Africa, taking the faith in the 5th and 6th centuries beyond where disciples had gone. Literature teacher note: an invented story can be a vehicle for truth.

Scott asked Jessica, "But can you relate to a council trying to come to a faith decision?" That really boosted energy in Jessica and others. She explained how this Council of Chalcedon separated churches from the Central Church, and she could readily identify from her own experience with dissension over Vestry decisions and lost members.

Lanie relates from her experience on a committee: 17 people with 13 different opinions, and trying to please everyone. She answered the original question about our understanding of God, saying, “I think I can feel God working in this committee. We get the feeling something isn’t quite right, and that seems to be guidance from the Holy Spirit.” So, insisting on consensus forces compromise and sharing – and that may be an opening for the Holy Spirit to act. That's how it works in Acts. See story of James of Jerusalem speaking up in a council meeting about Gentile Christians.

Lanie addressed that question about relating to the understanding of God in the readings to that of her personal experience. In Leviticus and Numbers, God seems very harsh, heavy on punishment. Relating to her Baptist tradition, Lanie had grown up with the same kind of harsh judgmental God. Later, she discovered the God of the Episcopal church to be more loving, forgiving, and so of the New Testament. "Maybe God got to the point of just saying I’ve tried everything – so I’ll send my son down."

Jessica offered that these rules or laws were maybe not about right and wrong, but about how to identify / define / unify a community in the same way we stick to the BCP. It’s not for their own sake, but for their effect on us as individuals and as a group. Daniel agreed. "This group of people leaving Egypt probably weren’t unified, and many carried Egyptian ways with them." He offered how he had felt as a Boy Scout, how his BSA uniform engendered identification with his pack.

Going back to the original question, Daniel really enjoys reading Old Testament… likes the image of distant figure on the throne. As a teacher of very young children who don’t understand rules, he needs for them to know the rules still matter. Also: as one who was always missing ritual in his life, Daniel likes seeing it in the Old Testament.

Joyce jumped onto Daniel’s ritual comment and told us how she loved the order – the ritual - Joyce got very excited telling about her introduction to the Episcopal Church, and also the Gospel of Matthew. Like Joyce, Matthew loves numbers!! 3 sets of 14, 7, 12 = Israel. Numerology. Scott commented that the Priestly source in the Hebrew Scriptures has a similar personality trait, being crazy about numbers and lists.

Somehow, this reminded Joyce of a comment about Jesus sending Legion into a herd of swine that plummeted to death on the rocks. "That was the first Deviled ham!" Fittingly, after the break, it was determined that Jessica had landed on the secret square, and she won a lifetime supply.

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 2 Theological Reflection as a Life Skill: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Susan, Donfred.

Worship and Gathering
For worship, Lanie chose prayers that emphasized the passage of day into night. Our answers to her gathering question told us a lot about each other: "What is your favorite time of day?" We answered sunset reminds me of twilight walks at the beach with my husband and son... Early morning 7am... We're early birds... late night, especially camping, hearing the many sounds of wilderness... at night, when you're listening to music, drinking a martini, and doing a crossword: the all-day voices of worry are silenced.

Theological Reflection
Scott imagined a good preacher who has a text to illuminate for the congregation. The people expect some new way of looking at the passage. What can the pastor do? They touch on the familiar ideas, what's commonly said about the scripture... get everyone to imagine what's going on in the passage... draw out God's intention in the passage, and what goes wrong, and what might redeem it... find connections to other scriptures... tell what we've probably been taught about situations like this... relate the passage to a familiar movie or book... bring in a personal experience...: these are what we do in a TR!

Before she left town, Susan had chosen for us to work on a selection from the Tradition source, the All Saints Day reading from John 11 that ends at verse 44: Jesus commands those present to unbind Lazarus and let him go free. That's where Jessica wanted to focus, and, after considering other aspects, we (like any good committee!) agreed. Scott urged the group to focus further on just one of the characters -- with the caveat that Jesus should be off-limits because, being also God, he opens discussion to lots of issues and speculation about how much the Incarnate God knows about himself, the universe, and the future. We chose to focus on Lazarus himself.

We explored the passage from Lazarus's point of view. What is he feeling when he hears the command to "come forth?" Ooo, what's that smell?... Confusion, disorientation...darkness...moving like the Mummy, stiff in tight bands of cloth, unable to see clearly... confronted by tearful loved ones, and tearful Jesus. Joyce imagined, Why're you bothering me? I was fine. Kind of like our answers to Lanie's gathering question about sunrise, we imagined the revival of Lazarus being something like being awakened from a deep sleep. He'd be sore. He might feel like we do when the alarm rings at 5am.

[Note from a former Drama teacher: Twice, exploring this story, we discovered new things when we thought like actors. Before we got deep into what Lazarus felt, Daniel was surprised to hear a sharp accusation of Jesus in his own tone when he acted out Mary's words, "If you'd been here, he wouldn't have died." Daniel went further to imagine how Mary, having sat adoringly at Jesus's feet in an earlier chapter, may feel betrayed.]

We further explored the passage by asking about theological perspective questions. What could cause brokenness in this scenario? Suppose Lazarus had refused to wake from his death and get up? Redemption comes when we respond to the call.

Connections: Joyce (I think) related this to the culture source when she remembered the movie Look Who's Talking, in which Bruce Willis, voicing an infant being pulled from the womb, yells "Noo - oo -- oo! Let me stay in!" (Joyce did a great impression of the kid.) Does this suggest that death may be yet another womb, another period of development, and the life after, a new birth and a life with its own challenges?

We wondered about the action source (experience). Jessica said we could all relate to being called, unsure, unsteady -- being made new, whether that's a good or bad thing (or: easy or painful thing).

Jessica related all of this to the tradition source in another reading on All Saints Day, Revelation, "See, I'm making all things new."

We transitioned into the insight and applications movement when Daniel said, "I've thought, Wouldn't it be nice if so-and-so were resurrected? Now I'm wondering, would that be fair to them?" He reached a conclusion that, even when resurrection is taken into account, death comes at a cost to those who die, and to those who are left behind.

To apply our thoughts, we looked at the form of a collect and used the "chat" function to contribute lines to a collect:

Dear Lord, even if I go to Sheol, you are there:
Almighty God, whose power can overcome death, You alone can bring us to new life in you. We pray that we may die to ourselves so that we may become afresh and anew in Your spirit. Amen
Like Lazarus, we may feel disoriented, even resistant, when we are called out of our safe and settled lives into change;
Dear God, You brought Lazarus back to his family and friends; help me to understand that my loved ones must be with you and no longer here with me; help me rejoice that there is no more pain and no more sorrow for them and that they are waiting for me to join them in your heavenly kingdom when it's my time to go. In your most precious name I pray, Amen.
Dear Lord, You are with us through it all and You enable us with your strength to worship You with all our heart.
Our Father who dwells among his children. You call the dead out of their tombs and into your presence. We pray that we may feel your tears, so that. We may know that you love those we mourn. Amen

For Monday:
We'll derive a TR from the first half of our meeting. We're back to the beginning in our "Wheel of Worship" with Scott bringing worship next week. (Over the following weeks, the "Wheel of Worship" will alight on Jessica, Donfred, Joyce, Susan, Daniel, and Lanie.) Next week, we won't have Daniel, as he'll be at his first Vestry meeting - we hope it's more fun than Chalcedon. We may not have Lanie. We'll be reading assignments for Week 11 - and don't forget to read what's in the RRG!

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Yr. D, Wk. 9: Water into wine; first TR concerns "first steps"

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Worship and Gathering
We took turns reciting collects for national unity and the elections. We shared what stood out for us in the All Saints observances of the previous week. Tearing up over the words "he shall wipe away every tear..."; the bit from Wisdom about spirits in the world "like sparks across stubble" and Jesus's command to "unbind Lazarus and let him go"; convergence of funerals and services. For Joyce, coping with both COVID and flu, "Last week is a blur."

Yr. D, Living Into the Journey with God, Unit 2 Theological Reflection as a Life Skill: 1st yr: Lanie, Daniel; 2nd yr: Donfred, Joyce, Susan; 3rd yr, Jessica; 4th yr, Scott. Mentor: Scott. Absent: Lanie returned to us after the break.

Discussion of the Readings
Participants discussed their readings in breakout rooms: Daniel, Jessica, and Donfred mixed all three years; Susan and Joyce traded observations about Y2 and Y3.

When we reconvened, people shared from their groups.

Joyce liked Powell's grouping of miracles in categories, one being nature miracles (walked water, controlled weather, multiplied food). Her favorite is water into wine – transformation from mundane life to abundant life. Then she dramatized the whole scene at the party, voicing Mary, Jesus, servants, and delighted guests.

Joyce also appreciated three pictures of Jesus with his mother that Powell placed in his chapter. Donfred too was struck by those, from diverse cultures. He also was struck by Mark's use of the phrase “kingdom of heaven” to emphasize that God's kingdom is ready to go, right here, right now!

Daniel can relate to the reaction of Moses to the golden calf. "So much like teaching! You think you’ve given kindergarteners everything they need, you turn your back, and it’s all fallen apart. Destroy the tablets!” Joyce concurs. Susan agreed – happens when you teach adults, too.

Jessica related Y3 to something Daniel said about "identity." Iconography began to develop – in Constantinople – beginning of the use of the Cross – it became an icon of glory not just the death. Interesting: development of hierarchy of leadership over much larger geographical areas. Daniel observed of the Hebrew tribes, groups have to have their norms and customs, to be a group. Observes differences among other Episcopal churches, too. Being marked as an outsider, like the people of Israel: you have to have those things that everyone does or doesn’t do.

Speaking of norms, we reviewed our own group norms from week 2. All agreed we were "doing pretty well." Scott took the opportunity to point out how much we had derived from the different images of "journey" that we had brought to the table that week. Images, metaphors, stories have impact beyond words -- and this is true with the words we use in our faith. [Hmm -- that sounds like an insight that goes with our TR, too.]

Theological Reflection
We followed the movements outlined on page 70 of the RRG.

1. At Donfred's suggestion, we focused on an idea that emerged from our personal experiences (the action source) : "It takes more than knowledge to move forward." Because we'd already done the hard work of distilling the stories in one focused image, we moved on to...
2. Explore the world of the image, using our senses and memories. We all bought into the idea from our own experiences.We explored some theological categories: When we have knowledge and we are taking the first steps, what is creation / wholeness? We spoke of the excitement and nerves, and we realized that humility and doubt are (or should be) part of the experience. What is sin / brokenness? Donfred suggested paralysis, being afraid to step out. What is judgment / wake-up call? "Failure hits you like a slap in the face." How can there be redemption / restoration of wholeness? Donfred said you take your first step, then step back, re-evaluate; take another step, and so on.
3. We connected our shared "stepping out" experience with the tradition source: how do Bible stories go with our idea? St. Thomas had the knowledge of Jesus and miracles, but had to experience the risen Lord to believe. Israelites had all those rules and instructions, but kept failing -- Moses was constantly revising as he moved them forward. Abraham moved without more than a promise: his steps WERE his learning. Disciples, ditto. We also connected to the culture source, recognizing that Dorothy's journey on the yellow brick road teaches her the value of home.
4. For insights, we observed that, in this situation, the longer you wait to take the first step, the worse it gets. Acts of faith are the way to faith. We may be aware of known unknowns, but should also be wary of unknown unknowns. We applied our reflection to our own lives by writing lines of a prayer (below).

Lord, I am about to take a first step.
I pray to have more faith to take that first step, and, putting the doubt aside, to have faith and confidence in the knowledge that I have, and the humility to know that the unknowns are coming regardless of how prepared I am or am not. I pray that I may give myself some grace and just keep moving. And Lord, calm my fears and shame when I step back to see how I have failed, and help me to move forward again. Grant me the serenity to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change, and wisdom to know the difference.

For Monday:
Lanie will lead us in worship and start us off with a "gathering" question, to help us catch up with each other. Susan will bring a source for a TR. We do the readings for week 10. Let's not overlook the RRG chapter itself.

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